Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
