My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I could fuck to npr.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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