i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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