so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
