What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
