Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so let's talk penis.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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