I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
