I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
