We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Randomize
