I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
