Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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