I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
