But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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