awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
