i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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