the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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