Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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