Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She bit a glass in half.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have post one night stand depression
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