our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
