I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
