none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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