he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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