i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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