i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
