i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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