did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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