it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
