i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
