East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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