no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
