I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize