PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
