margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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