i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize