I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
