You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Found the puke drawer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
