how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
