We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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