Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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