Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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