I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
