He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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