At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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