She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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