we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
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I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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