you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize