please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She bit a glass in half.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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