i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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