You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize