You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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