is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
