Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize