Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
