Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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