Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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