He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
