I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
