just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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