would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
