spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
