I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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