dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
