Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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