Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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