haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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